Hello? part 1

In San Diego for the North American version of our conference. More quotes will be coming (with which you can see early versions on Twitter @mattroblyer). Here are the first couple days worth of quotes:

• I am ready to be punched
• It's not like its Fort Knox
• I am actually tri-lingual because I speak Pig Latin
• People often stop me on the street and ask, "Are you a world traveller?"
• No undead for you
• I am a leprechaun
• No, I forgot my flute
• That's a good song
• I care not for the Vampire Diaries
• At least do them the courtesy of not killing them a violent death in the back of a limosuine
• There's Captain America and his lesser known friend

Trash Bins

I know we have a lot of trash but the city did not need to bring our own dumpster.
We have the dumpster in front of our house for neighborhood cleanup, which is ok, but what is weird is that the first day it was there a bunch of people I did not know all pulled their trucks up and emptied truckloads of yard debris from their jobs in the day. Anything to save a buck I guess. One guy even dropped off a bathroom he remodeled.
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Super Mario, Super Video

This is one of the coolest things I have seen in a while. All of Original Super Mario Brothers, displayed on a long wall/ground in a motion capture. It is pretty cool. I found this on Gizmodo by the way.

Blowing Stuff Up

Fourth of July this weekend. Pyromaniacs dream. I can see that in the early years of America blowing things up on the holiday was important. We had to show our dominance of the world. Now, it is just a reason to blow things up, things that were made in China even. I don't really get it. We blew some stuff up with friends this weekend. The girls ohhhh'd and ahhhh'd like us men were professionals and we had no sparks over 12 feet in height.
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Hello? part 6 (try #2)

This will be the last quotes (until the next Catalyst). These quotes cover the last day of the conference as well as the flight home. Without further ado:

• Carissa's here
• I blame you Matt
• He's a happy little elf today
• Would Karl? I would give him a receipt.
• I'm gonna get so rowdy the rest of you will look mellow
• You're going to get a hernia in your teeth
• You let people beat you down, we are going to have to show you the door.
• So I don't lick my stitches
• I like my pigeon on the bone
• That is why she is a manager and you are a coordinator
• Anne, hold on...now go
• Instead of any real security I will ask you questions
• If I get cold on the plane I just snuggle with myself
• He's a swiss army knife of style
• I'm so sick of you
• Ain't no one playing me like a puppet
• It was like finding out Darth Vader was Luke's father
• Sid is more quotable today because he drank last night
• Let's get our check from the Russian

Hello? part 5 (try #2)

Catalyst is almost over. Sorry for the short quote list today. It was a long day, but I tried to focus on work and not quotes. I am sorry. I will try to do better tomorrow.

• Do you want me to start a list?
• He's an angry elf
• That's what makes it a great shortcut
• Am I hot?
• You need some FloMax
• Listen!
• The pimp is responsible for compliance
• I wonder if that guy just killed those tourists

Hello? part 4 (try #2)

First "official" day of Catalyst today. A full day of sessions. A good amount of quotes. Too bad the days get so long that I can't remember the context by the time I post these at night. I am sure most of these were really funny when they were said originally.

• John Lennon is a dick
• It is probably because they let him wear a hat.
• Someone farted really loud in there
• Yeah, I have a problem
• Penetration is a funny word
• Taylor saw my head pop up from under the desk
• I'm just saving her for later
• If it says 23:58 I just sit and stare at it until it turns
• Anything I gave you was unused
• I wrote that down in my little black book to show God
• Matt was impressed
• Some people post all the time with nonsensical crap
• I train in Brazilian Jujitsu
• I thought that started with K
• Sounds like PUNT!
• Matts not going to get nose cancer
• "Yeah, we're hungry." "Uh...huh."
• Collin got Czeched

Hello? part 3 (try #2)

Quotes from today. Sorry they are so light, but I actually had to work today! Crazy. Hopefully things start to pick up as the week go on. I would hate to disappoint an adoring fan base.

Good news is that the quotes today are great. One of the best days ever or quotes.

• Can I get back through this door?
• If you do it like I said everything will be fine
• I am cool like that
• You can ask for anything, what I approve for you is a different story altogether
• I can read numbers...with practice
• I am not spanking my monkey at all today
• Thanks, cuz my Czech really sucks
• The closer I hold my laptop to the ceiling the better reception I get
• I can only take requests, I can't read your mind
• There is a bunch of masses in here
  If you had a white coat I would trust you more Matt
• You gotta give me more notice if you want me to check out a guys crotch

Hello? Part 2 (try #2)

Today was a good day. A little work in the morning and then touring - a great lunch at Imperial Cafe and a great dinner at a place that overlooks the Charles Bridge. Here are some great quotes from today in Prague.

By the way - you can follow great Catalyst quotes on Twitter by searching #catquotes. I will be submitting here and so will some friends of mine here at the event - but What the Heck Over will always be THE place to go for your Catalyst quotes that can be taken out of context.

• She's secretly a dominatrix
• Feel free, we'll just be listening
• We're going to do this. We are going to walk that street.
• I gotta hit 2 like 3 times
• Those smelled better than they taste
• I thought baby Jesus would be taller
• Yeah, I haven't heard that yet
• I want to see your hernia later
• Maybe I will bunk with you

Hello, part 1 (Try #2)

Since I am in Prague preparing for another Catalyst Conference I thought I better do some quotes (plus I have had requests - especially from Chloe). Remember that I will taking the best quotes from my Twitter feed (@mattroblyer - follow me!) to be on the blog. Here are what I have so far:

• You're all hopped up on apple juice
• They don't use snowballs
• I gotta pee
• Only if you smell burning feathers
• You have Jamie's permission to kill someone. That is power.
• do-dah-dooo....ohhhh!
• My college degree says nothing about easels
• I really need to stop saying "the Gartner people," I am the Gartner people
• You'd never make it as a truck driver
• It is 2 more than 5.1
• I have not said a word to you in 25 minutes
• I agree with you. It is sad that we are wasting 1 piece of paper.
• I've got live tuna in my suitcase
• I like bananas in Prague
• Feel free to organize them while you are over there
• This is like a weird dream I am in right now
• I want candles for Fathers Day
• She's him Mum
• Are you sharing rooms when he gets here?
• Why can't the world standardize on just one paper size?
• I know a lot of websites that you shouldn't go to on your work laptop.
• We had two each and I didn't sleep for a day and a half
• You're solving world peace today? It's only 9 o'clock.

Follow Me On Twitter

I started a Twitter account just for my work. You can follow me here @mattroblyer and get a preview of quotes at this year's Catalyst.

I am in Prague (again) and setting up for another Catalyst. So far no volcano, my luggage has not gotten lost, and I have not been more than 100 yards out of the hotel. Sounds like the event is actually going to happen this time.

Commuting

The picture above is what I was presented with on my drive home tonight. It added about 15 minutes to my commute. I know that does not sound like much, but sometimes that 15 minutes can change the way you think about your day.

Also, to all you losers that speed past people trying to get over only to douible the wait time when you are forced to get over: please try to stay in the flow of traffic. It helps everyone out. You are not the most important person in the world.
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Waiting In Line

Jordan and I are waiting in line for Chloe's dance concert. It has been an hour and we still have more to go.

What did people do before phones, iPods, and iTouches? Waiting in line like this would have been unbearable. Jordan could sit for days and do nothing but play games on the Touch - too bad the battery does not last that long.

Right now Jordan likes the impossible test on the Touch. It is pretty cool. Each screen has a different question or task that you must do. It is hard. We have gotten into the 50's on the screens and have not passed it yet. It is pretty hard.
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Jazz Attitude

Chloe did not make Jazz Attitude this year. I am not very happy about it. When I was at tryouts I saw many girls that Chloe was considerably better than. This is the list of girls that did make the team. By the way, Chloe was #24.
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In-N-Out Update

Another new In-N-Out burger is being built near my house. Well, not really. It is about the same distance as the other In-N-Out near me. The biggest difference is that this In-N-Out is on my way home from work!

With Chickfila and In-N-Out I may never have to cook again! Or at least Diana won't.
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Chloe's Dance Picture

Chloe has pictures for her dance concert today. Here is a preview of her costume.

The dance concert is next Thursday and Friday - get in line early for a good seat.
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At the Costco

They both are still alive after getting in (there were some scary moments). The real question is: can they get out?

It Is Open

The new Chickfila opened in the neighborhood today. Guess what's for dinner!

This is actually well ran. They have police officers running traffic and around 5 people running outside in the cold for the drive thru. In restaurant traffic does not seem that good though. Maybe the blowup cow is scaring people.
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Hello? part 5

Another day of touring and a little work. A great dinner at a restaraunt overlooking the Charles Bridge. Prague is beautiful!

• This would be a cool field trip. In Utah we just go to the zoo every year.
• In October they turn this into a haunted house and double the prices.
• I'm not giving her any peer pressure, just being a bad example.
• And now we can't turn right.
• Disco ball!
• If it is zombie nudity is ok.
• It must be Miley Cyrus.
• I am going to try to find an 80s song reference for everything said the rest of the night.
• I'm doing it right now.
• And then enjoy your night in jail.
• Give me a beet and goat cheese and I am a happy woman.
• These bread sticks are better than Little Ceasars.
• That is called the ash hole.
• That was probably Joe Montana.

Hello? part 4

You won't believe our day today. We got some sweet pictures. We went to the bone church that is about an hour from Prague and we also went and saw St. Barbara cathedral as well (they were both in the same small town). The bone church was cool and has over 40,000 bones inside it as decoration. I will be posting pictures soon. Once we got back we went to this huge park that has a huge metronome in it. It was pretty cool and another day of a lot of walking.

There was also some great quotes for today:

• Karl is here, bring out the gay pride corn
• No one makes you me more nervous than someone that says, "don't be scared"
• There's your daughters gum
• I have really fantastic calves
• Who would I want to play leap frog with?
• It's true. I can hold my breath for a minute
• Actually, I don't think Sid can say that
• We don't pet weird dogs in Prague
• Are they taking their antibiotics
• I've hidden in the closets there

Hello? part 3

So, with Catalyst Conference postponed today was a day where we spent time unstuffing badges and lanyards and just some general cleanup. By 1pm we were all done - and we even slept in! So, we went around town here in Prague. We walked by the Powder Tower, Old Town Square, and Charles Bridge. All the way up to the Prague castle. It was a nice 5+ hour walk and see plus lunch mixed in. We had a great time. Here are the quotes from today:

• We beat those fools.
• Because Europeans are weird.
• Not for you...bye-bye.
• I think she has a hot date tonight.
• Don't you hear the voices?
• Let's drive that across the river.
• Don't be an ash cloud.

Hello? part 2

Not a good day overall - we are postponing Catalyst Europe because all of the airports are shut down. You will see some quotes regarding this below.

• Who's Delta?
• There's junk in your folder
• I'll take you to the bag store
• Laugh at me tomorrow, Matt
• Why wasn't this in the employee kit?
• Sometimes kids need jail to get on the right path
• I live in a pineapple under the sea
• It's only 3 hours to Tokyo
• I gotta get on somebody's blog
• A bloke got his lanyard nicked (in an English accent)
• I never like Iceland
• Sounds like a problem for your urologist
• Everytime Karl says something witty he looks at me to see if I pick up my pen

Hello? Part 1

On the first day of CEU 2010 this was going on:

• She is the calm one.
• Bite me.
• Google it.
• We pay a lot of money for that cluster.
• Jesus is coming, look busy.
• Good thing we are not dinosaurs.
• Kicking it with the weasel here in Prague.
• You've been on there for a long time.
• Drive through the Chunnel, turn left.
• Don't look like a vulnerable wimp and you'll be fine.

Posting Again

A lot has happened over the past 3-plus months. Maybe at some point I will go over all of it with you, but then again, maybe not. For now, I am posting again. Also, I am once again in Europe for that annual Catalyst conference and will be posting some of the great quotes that are overheard.

Lastly, Chloe is hanging out with me in Europe this week as well. I will be reading her journal all week and posting the juicy parts. Pictures and other fun stuff coming all this week and next!

The Difference Between A Schmidget and A Shart

Today while walking back from lunch a couple of my colleagues, Chloe and I had a very riveting discussion about words. Another of our colleagues does not like the words "moist" and "fart." Now these are probably not the best words, but I do not have a problem with them. Karl commented that by themselves, these words are fine, but together they make the phrase "moist fart" which is really bad, and not only when you say it, but when it happens to you as well. Karl says he calls these "moist farts" a shart, while I would call them a "schmidget." We discussed this for a moment and came to the conclusion that with a "schmidget" you are probably checking your pants, but you are still good to go. With a "shart" you check your pants and are in trouble. Hopefully you packed a separate part of pants.