Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

I hope all of you have a very merry Christmas. This is the season to spend time with family and loved ones (see how I separated the two groups). A time for us to remember the true reason for the season, the birth of our Savior. There are presents and parties and a lot of hustle and bustle, but we whould slow down and take a moment to thank our Heavenly Father for what we have. Once that is done we can get on with our holidays!

Merry Christmas!

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Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Chloe's Orchestra Concert

It has been two days of performances for the kids. Today is Chloe's turn for orchestra. She is very excited to be playing the violin.
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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Chloe's Christmas Dance Concert

You probably thought I was done blogging for a while, but here I am at Chloe's Christmas Dance concert and I thought I better blog about this since I did for Jordan's concert.

Chloe sure is becoming a good dancer.

Jordan's Band Concert

Hello there. Tonight is Jordan's band concert. You can barely see him in the picture, but he is there with his friend Tanner. Tonight he is playing two songs at the Christmas concert "Joyeux Noel" and "Ding Dong Merrily on High."

It was a good night.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

An American Hero

I did my civic duty today and voted for a bunch of people that will probably lose. Tough luck for me, but I just don't think we should send the same people to the capital every year.
If I had my way these government positions would be filled by the public by random drawing. Kind of like The Hunger Games, and then you go for a year to prepare and then do 5 years or so of service. This would keep career politicians out of the government, and the people would not owe any lobbyists or political action committees and those are the people and groups that are killing the government.
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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Not My Kind of Fun Bus

I went to SmashBurger with Chris this week for lunch. If you have not been to SmashBurger before you are missing out on a pretty tasty burger - a little more refined than 5 Guys, but no where near as tasty. SmashBurger has more than just burgers and dogs too - they have chicken and specialty burgers. The only bad part - and this is a biggie - they are way expensive. Almost to the point of being over priced. If you have never been, you should try it to say you have been there. Well, that is enough about SmashBurger, let's move on to the point of this post. I grew up by the Golden Living assisted living center, I have been there for Christmas carols and other types of service. Let me tell you, that would not be a "fun bus" as we know it for sure. As I entered the SmashBurger not a one of the old people looked like they were having fun. They should rename it the "dazed and confused bus" and would be right on.
I still remember driving by Golden Living one time and someone had removed the G and the E from Golden, so it read "old n Living". Now that is a good joke!
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Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Here I stand in JFK airport. I used to be on a plane, but we had to get off. Many people are very angry, but what is the alternative? Going down in a blaze of glory over the middle of America? I don't want to take that chance.
Hopefully I can get some shut eye on the plane. Going to be a long flight/short night.
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Tuesday, September 14, 2010


I am sitting here in my hotel room reviewing my current big project. I had an all day meeting Monday and then spent a lot of today (Tuesday) in meetings refining what was discussed Monday. The good news is that I am pretty confident that I have nailed the process and the requirements for the project. That means I will be able to sleep easy tonight. Only one more day until I am reunited with the family. That is good.
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Saturday, September 11, 2010

Smells Great Here

Don't remember if I updated the blog, but the In N Out burger closer to the house is open and busy.
I really like In N Out but the wife hates it so my opportunities to go are pretty limited. Chloe does like it, so her and I can sneak over sometimes.
I have yet to go to this location, but I have added it to my bucket list.
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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Anniversary Fun

Today is my 15th anniversary. Last night me and the wife went to The Lion King at Capitol Theatre to celebrate. It was pretty good. Seeing it has actually made me think that we should do these things more often. We have a couple other fun things planned. We are going to see Avatar in 3D. I know, we must be the only people in the free world that have not seen it (I actually saw it on a plane, but people tell me that does not count).
It is great being married to your best friend. It makes things pretty easy most days, especially when the funnest thing to do is just hang out with her.
This is 15, but I am excited to see what will be over the next 15!
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Friday, August 6, 2010


I saw Inception on Tuesday night with the wife. It is a great movie. I highly recommend it to everyone. This movie is about entering people's dreams and learning their secrets or trying to give them ideas. The Leonardo Dicaprio charcter has a lot of emotional baggage and it is getting in the way of his job (he is one of the people entering others dreams). Leo's dreams are infiltrating other dreams and causing havoc. Anyways, this movie is great at storytelling and leaves you wanting more. Inception has a great story, great action, good effects, and good action.

You should see this movie and then let me know what you think.
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I Love You Beth Cooper

Last night me and the wife watched I Love You Beth Cooper. It was not very good, but had promise.
The movie starts out funny enough as the school valedictorian professes his love for Beth Cooper during his speech. He also makes fun of the snooty girl, the class bully, and the boys that never leave high school and are part of ROTC. Here is where things go off track. After graduation Beth tells him his speech was sweet and he invites her over to his house for a party. Of course, she shows up and hilarity should ensue, but not many actually funny things happen. Our main character just spends time getting beat up as Beth Cooper drives him around town like a psych. As our main character starts to not like Beth Cooper once he gets to know her, she starts to see that the things she does are not good and they both start to have feelings for each other.
There is also a running subplot regarding our main characters friend who does not he is gay, but decides he is bi after spending the night with two of Beth Coopers friends.
I don't recommend this movie to anyone. The funny start and kind of funny ending are not worth the middle of the movie that is just stupid.
Final note: never ride in a car that Hayden Panettarie drives.
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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Hole in the Wall Update

Here is the wall repair I am working on. I keep assuring the wife (and myself) that it will dry to the right color. We are just a couple hours from finding out. This is just the first coat. One more coat tonight and then re-hang everything tomorrow.
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I am an Eagle Scout. That is how I know these flags and poles are wrong. The taller pole should have the American flag. If the poles are the same size the non-US flag should be hoisted slightly lower. The nation is above all is how it should be, but this is Utah you know.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Can We Fix It? Part: I've Lost Count

Got a text from the wife today. The curtain rod in our front room was pulled down (accidentally). Now I need to repair the hole in the wall, repaint, and rehang the rod. Fixing the hole and repainting is easy. I just don't know where I will put the new holes for the rod. By the way, the yellow you see is the patch that is lightly covered with spakle. Once I sand and paint tomorrow you won't even notice it.

Updates to come.
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Somethings You Cannot Explain

Driving home from work yesterday I saw the above. Yes, that is Luigi walking down the street. He is not holding a sign or advertising anything, he is just walking. My question is, if he was working somewhere else, why did he not take the head off or change clothes before leaving?
Seeing Luigi did brighten my day though. I like Luigi way better than Mario. Luigi is the unsung hero. He goes around saving the world not for the princess like Mario, but because he just likes to hang out with his brother.
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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Hello? part 4

The quotes got a little better today. Hold tight, cause the end of the week is nearing.

  • Take them, love them, have fun with them.
  • I will bring you an abacus for after lunch.
  • I don't care about how you feel.
  • I'm glad to see you are not sucking on that.
  • Nice one, mustache.
  • Did you put on cologne?
  • I'm glad I didn't wear my dress to the game, we would have clashed.
  • No, he said golden goose.
  • Ivan, you got something stuck to your butt.
  • There's an identity monkey choking me.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Hello? part 3

Long day yesterday. Not a lot of funny stuff happened, but I still got some quotes.
  • I can hear you crying on the inside and it makes me giggle.
  • It's more magical than Flipper.
  • There's a lot of idiocy going on around here.
  • Am I going in to learn something or be murdered?
  • You once shopped there, but threw the bottle away after one sip.
  • Furcal! You're killing me.

Wish I had more, but just not in the right state of mind. Maybe once this day is over we can get to the normal amount of quotes.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Hello? part 2

More quotes from the event this week:

  • I'm good with a pole, Matt
  • Please, no pictures of our scantily-dressed women as superheroes
  • But...I'm not in marketing
  • God may not require it, but Matt does
  • I'm not going to let 23 other people judging me slow me down
  • If you are suicidal some free bread can really cheer you up
  • Matt is going to cry
  • There's Superman sleeping in the foyer

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Hello? part 1

In San Diego for the North American version of our conference. More quotes will be coming (with which you can see early versions on Twitter @mattroblyer). Here are the first couple days worth of quotes:
  • I am ready to be punched
  • It's not like its Fort Knox
  • I am actually tri-lingual because I speak Pig Latin
  • People often stop me on the street and ask, "Are you a world traveller?"
  • No undead for you
  • I am a leprechaun
  • No, I forgot my flute
  • That's a good song
  • I care not for the Vampire Diaries
  • At least do them the courtesy of not killing them a violent death in the back of a limosuine
  • There's Captain America and his lesser known friend

Friday, July 16, 2010

Trash Bins

I know we have a lot of trash but the city did not need to bring our own dumpster.
We have the dumpster in front of our house for neighborhood cleanup, which is ok, but what is weird is that the first day it was there a bunch of people I did not know all pulled their trucks up and emptied truckloads of yard debris from their jobs in the day. Anything to save a buck I guess. One guy even dropped off a bathroom he remodeled.
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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Super Mario, Super Video

This is one of the coolest things I have seen in a while. All of Original Super Mario Brothers, displayed on a long wall/ground in a motion capture. It is pretty cool. I found this on Gizmodo by the way.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Blowing Stuff Up

Fourth of July this weekend. Pyromaniacs dream. I can see that in the early years of America blowing things up on the holiday was important. We had to show our dominance of the world. Now, it is just a reason to blow things up, things that were made in China even. I don't really get it. We blew some stuff up with friends this weekend. The girls ohhhh'd and ahhhh'd like us men were professionals and we had no sparks over 12 feet in height.
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Saturday, June 26, 2010

Hello? part 6 (try #2)

This will be the last quotes (until the next Catalyst). These quotes cover the last day of the conference as well as the flight home. Without further ado:

  • Carissa's here
  • I blame you Matt
  • He's a happy little elf today
  • Would Karl? I would give him a receipt.
  • I'm gonna get so rowdy the rest of you will look mellow
  • You're going to get a hernia in your teeth
  • You let people beat you down, we are going to have to show you the door.
  • So I don't lick my stitches
  • I like my pigeon on the bone
  • That is why she is a manager and you are a coordinator
  • Anne, hold go
  • Instead of any real security I will ask you questions
  • If I get cold on the plane I just snuggle with myself
  • He's a swiss army knife of style
  • I'm so sick of you
  • Ain't no one playing me like a puppet
  • It was like finding out Darth Vader was Luke's father
  • Sid is more quotable today because he drank last night
  • Let's get our check from the Russian

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hello? part 5 (try #2)

Catalyst is almost over. Sorry for the short quote list today. It was a long day, but I tried to focus on work and not quotes. I am sorry. I will try to do better tomorrow.
  • Do you want me to start a list?
  • He's an angry elf
  • That's what makes it a great shortcut
  • Am I hot?
  • You need some FloMax
  • Listen!
  • The pimp is responsible for compliance
  • I wonder if that guy just killed those tourists

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hello? part 4 (try #2)

First "official" day of Catalyst today. A full day of sessions. A good amount of quotes. Too bad the days get so long that I can't remember the context by the time I post these at night. I am sure most of these were really funny when they were said originally.

  • John Lennon is a dick
  • It is probably because they let him wear a hat.
  • Someone farted really loud in there
  • Yeah, I have a problem
  • Penetration is a funny word
  • Taylor saw my head pop up from under the desk
  • I'm just saving her for later
  • If it says 23:58 I just sit and stare at it until it turns
  • Anything I gave you was unused
  • I wrote that down in my little black book to show God
  • Matt was impressed
  • Some people post all the time with nonsensical crap
  • I train in Brazilian Jujitsu
  • I thought that started with K
  • Sounds like PUNT!
  • Matts not going to get nose cancer
  • "Yeah, we're hungry." "Uh...huh."
  • Collin got Czeched

Monday, June 21, 2010

Hello? part 3 (try #2)

Quotes from today. Sorry they are so light, but I actually had to work today! Crazy. Hopefully things start to pick up as the week go on. I would hate to disappoint an adoring fan base.

Good news is that the quotes today are great. One of the best days ever or quotes.

  • Can I get back through this door?
  • If you do it like I said everything will be fine
  • I am cool like that
  • You can ask for anything, what I approve for you is a different story altogether
  • I can read numbers...with practice
  • I am not spanking my monkey at all today
  • Thanks, cuz my Czech really sucks
  • The closer I hold my laptop to the ceiling the better reception I get
  • I can only take requests, I can't read your mind
  • There is a bunch of masses in here
    If you had a white coat I would trust you more Matt
  • You gotta give me more notice if you want me to check out a guys crotch

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Hello? Part 2 (try #2)

Today was a good day. A little work in the morning and then touring - a great lunch at Imperial Cafe and a great dinner at a place that overlooks the Charles Bridge. Here are some great quotes from today in Prague.

By the way - you can follow great Catalyst quotes on Twitter by searching #catquotes. I will be submitting here and so will some friends of mine here at the event - but What the Heck Over will always be THE place to go for your Catalyst quotes that can be taken out of context.
  • She's secretly a dominatrix
  • Feel free, we'll just be listening
  • We're going to do this. We are going to walk that street.
  • I gotta hit 2 like 3 times
  • Those smelled better than they taste
  • I thought baby Jesus would be taller
  • Yeah, I haven't heard that yet
  • I want to see your hernia later
  • Maybe I will bunk with you

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Hello, part 1 (Try #2)

Since I am in Prague preparing for another Catalyst Conference I thought I better do some quotes (plus I have had requests - especially from Chloe). Remember that I will taking the best quotes from my Twitter feed (@mattroblyer - follow me!) to be on the blog. Here are what I have so far:

  • You're all hopped up on apple juice
  • They don't use snowballs
  • I gotta pee
  • Only if you smell burning feathers
  • You have Jamie's permission to kill someone. That is power.
  • do-dah-dooo....ohhhh!
  • My college degree says nothing about easels
  • I really need to stop saying "the Gartner people," I am the Gartner people
  • You'd never make it as a truck driver
  • It is 2 more than 5.1
  • I have not said a word to you in 25 minutes
  • I agree with you. It is sad that we are wasting 1 piece of paper.
  • I've got live tuna in my suitcase
  • I like bananas in Prague
  • Feel free to organize them while you are over there
  • This is like a weird dream I am in right now
  • I want candles for Fathers Day
  • She's him Mum
  • Are you sharing rooms when he gets here?
  • Why can't the world standardize on just one paper size?
  • I know a lot of websites that you shouldn't go to on your work laptop.
  • We had two each and I didn't sleep for a day and a half
  • You're solving world peace today? It's only 9 o'clock.

Follow Me On Twitter

I started a Twitter account just for my work. You can follow me here @mattroblyer and get a preview of quotes at this year's Catalyst.

I am in Prague (again) and setting up for another Catalyst. So far no volcano, my luggage has not gotten lost, and I have not been more than 100 yards out of the hotel. Sounds like the event is actually going to happen this time.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


The picture above is what I was presented with on my drive home tonight. It added about 15 minutes to my commute. I know that does not sound like much, but sometimes that 15 minutes can change the way you think about your day.

Also, to all you losers that speed past people trying to get over only to douible the wait time when you are forced to get over: please try to stay in the flow of traffic. It helps everyone out. You are not the most important person in the world.
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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Waiting In Line

Jordan and I are waiting in line for Chloe's dance concert. It has been an hour and we still have more to go.

What did people do before phones, iPods, and iTouches? Waiting in line like this would have been unbearable. Jordan could sit for days and do nothing but play games on the Touch - too bad the battery does not last that long.

Right now Jordan likes the impossible test on the Touch. It is pretty cool. Each screen has a different question or task that you must do. It is hard. We have gotten into the 50's on the screens and have not passed it yet. It is pretty hard.
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Jazz Attitude

Chloe did not make Jazz Attitude this year. I am not very happy about it. When I was at tryouts I saw many girls that Chloe was considerably better than. This is the list of girls that did make the team. By the way, Chloe was #24.
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In-N-Out Update

Another new In-N-Out burger is being built near my house. Well, not really. It is about the same distance as the other In-N-Out near me. The biggest difference is that this In-N-Out is on my way home from work!

With Chickfila and In-N-Out I may never have to cook again! Or at least Diana won't.
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Saturday, May 15, 2010

Chloe's Dance Picture

Chloe has pictures for her dance concert today. Here is a preview of her costume.

The dance concert is next Thursday and Friday - get in line early for a good seat.
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Thursday, May 13, 2010

At the Costco

They both are still alive after getting in (there were some scary moments). The real question is: can they get out?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

It Is Open

The new Chickfila opened in the neighborhood today. Guess what's for dinner!

This is actually well ran. They have police officers running traffic and around 5 people running outside in the cold for the drive thru. In restaurant traffic does not seem that good though. Maybe the blowup cow is scaring people.
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Monday, April 19, 2010

Hello? part 5

Another day of touring and a little work. A great dinner at a restaraunt overlooking the Charles Bridge. Prague is beautiful!
  • This would be a cool field trip. In Utah we just go to the zoo every year.
  • In October they turn this into a haunted house and double the prices.
  • I'm not giving her any peer pressure, just being a bad example.
  • And now we can't turn right.
  • Disco ball!
  • If it is zombie nudity is ok.
  • It must be Miley Cyrus.
  • I am going to try to find an 80s song reference for everything said the rest of the night.
  • I'm doing it right now.
  • And then enjoy your night in jail.
  • Give me a beet and goat cheese and I am a happy woman.
  • These bread sticks are better than Little Ceasars.
  • That is called the ash hole.
  • That was probably Joe Montana.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hello? part 4

You won't believe our day today. We got some sweet pictures. We went to the bone church that is about an hour from Prague and we also went and saw St. Barbara cathedral as well (they were both in the same small town). The bone church was cool and has over 40,000 bones inside it as decoration. I will be posting pictures soon. Once we got back we went to this huge park that has a huge metronome in it. It was pretty cool and another day of a lot of walking.

There was also some great quotes for today:
  • Karl is here, bring out the gay pride corn
  • No one makes you me more nervous than someone that says, "don't be scared"
  • There's your daughters gum
  • I have really fantastic calves
  • Who would I want to play leap frog with?
  • It's true. I can hold my breath for a minute
  • Actually, I don't think Sid can say that
  • We don't pet weird dogs in Prague
  • Are they taking their antibiotics
  • I've hidden in the closets there

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hello? part 3

So, with Catalyst Conference postponed today was a day where we spent time unstuffing badges and lanyards and just some general cleanup. By 1pm we were all done - and we even slept in! So, we went around town here in Prague. We walked by the Powder Tower, Old Town Square, and Charles Bridge. All the way up to the Prague castle. It was a nice 5+ hour walk and see plus lunch mixed in. We had a great time. Here are the quotes from today:
  • We beat those fools.
  • Because Europeans are weird.
  • Not for you...bye-bye.
  • I think she has a hot date tonight.
  • Don't you hear the voices?
  • Let's drive that across the river.
  • Don't be an ash cloud.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Hello? part 2

Not a good day overall - we are postponing Catalyst Europe because all of the airports are shut down. You will see some quotes regarding this below.
  • Who's Delta?
  • There's junk in your folder
  • I'll take you to the bag store
  • Laugh at me tomorrow, Matt
  • Why wasn't this in the employee kit?
  • Sometimes kids need jail to get on the right path
  • I live in a pineapple under the sea
  • It's only 3 hours to Tokyo
  • I gotta get on somebody's blog
  • A bloke got his lanyard nicked (in an English accent)
  • I never like Iceland
  • Sounds like a problem for your urologist
  • Everytime Karl says something witty he looks at me to see if I pick up my pen

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Hello? Part 1

On the first day of CEU 2010 this was going on:

  • She is the calm one.
  • Bite me.
  • Google it.
  • We pay a lot of money for that cluster.
  • Jesus is coming, look busy.
  • Good thing we are not dinosaurs.
  • Kicking it with the weasel here in Prague.
  • You've been on there for a long time.
  • Drive through the Chunnel, turn left.
  • Don't look like a vulnerable wimp and you'll be fine.

Posting Again

A lot has happened over the past 3-plus months. Maybe at some point I will go over all of it with you, but then again, maybe not. For now, I am posting again. Also, I am once again in Europe for that annual Catalyst conference and will be posting some of the great quotes that are overheard.

Lastly, Chloe is hanging out with me in Europe this week as well. I will be reading her journal all week and posting the juicy parts. Pictures and other fun stuff coming all this week and next!

The Difference Between A Schmidget and A Shart

Today while walking back from lunch a couple of my colleagues, Chloe and I had a very riveting discussion about words. Another of our colleagues does not like the words "moist" and "fart." Now these are probably not the best words, but I do not have a problem with them. Karl commented that by themselves, these words are fine, but together they make the phrase "moist fart" which is really bad, and not only when you say it, but when it happens to you as well. Karl says he calls these "moist farts" a shart, while I would call them a "schmidget." We discussed this for a moment and came to the conclusion that with a "schmidget" you are probably checking your pants, but you are still good to go. With a "shart" you check your pants and are in trouble. Hopefully you packed a separate part of pants.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Can We Fix It? Part 2

The washing machine was broken. Key word being was. I fixed it! The motor coupling burned out (the washer is 12 years old, so it was probably time for one). This job took me a while and I had to google a video of how to pull the motor out, but I finally got it.

I am awesomer than I even knew.
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Can We Fix It? Part 1

The hot water valve under the kitchen sink started leaking on new years eve. Today, I fixed it. You can see the newly installed valve in one of the pictures and the other is the old busted one. You can see the handle is no longer attached. The leak was through the handle, it is like over time the hot water just melted away the post the handle was on. This was a pretty simple fix. Took under an hour counting running to the store for the part.

I still have 2 more items that need to be fixed. The in-sink disposal went out and the washing machine broke - all on new years eve. Yeah, that was a good day. I will keep you updated on my progress as I attempt to fix things today.
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