Thanks, Loser

To: Whomever destroyed my mailbox Sunday night/Monday morning

Dear Loser,

Thanks for making me wake up and find out that my mailbox had been smashed. You are a real hero. It always makes for a great day when you wake up and find out that you need to run to Walmart to buy a new mailbox, and then get it all installed. It is real fun. Gets the day off to a great start. Loser, please come by again, but this time be man enough to knock on my door let me know if (a) it was an accident, or (b) you are just a huge jerk. You can at least feel good enough about your handiwork to let me know that you did it.

Once again, thanks a lot. Your friend,

Matt Roblyer

P.S. Below is a picture of your handiwork.